This time of year, I feel myself slipping into discouragement or depression. It’s overcast a lot here in Texas, foggy the past few days. And I need the sun to shine on me. Everything is dying and dark.
It is now when I think about heaven a lot. It will be sunny there. No sorrow, no sin, no conflict. The weight of the world will no longer be something to bear us down.
Today was hard especially. I went to church and my pastor announced his daughter just gave birth to a child last night. Although that is a great thing in the right circumstances, this time it grieved me. The pastor’s daughter is not married. She had an illegitimate child. The pastors are not apologetic about it at all. This bothers me a lot and makes me want to go to another church. My husband like this church and the relationships he’s developed. And we should both belong to the same church. The church I like is more old school Church of God where they still have altar calls every Sunday and worship in the Spirit, not just what they planned on singing, but what they feel the spirit calling us to sing at the moment. The church my husband and I attend now is more rock and I don’t like that either.
I am tired of this world and all the carnal living that I see growing in Christians these days. Including me. I am no exception. This emotional up and down is not of God. Jesus was full of joy all the time, and loved people all the time. He was not judgemental toward people although he didn’t like the sin.
I try to be encouraging on these blogs, but I felt I needed to write my emotions and let them out. Venting is always good so I don’t harbor the negative thoughts and feelings inside.
On top of this, I have a lot of struggles with my daughter which is a whole other story.
God is still good.
He is still sovereign.
He is still in control.
I choose to praise Him even in my darkest hour.